Thanks to Anxiety.

Live with anxiety is really painful, but I got something to be grateful about it.

On saturday I felt something was wrong with my pregnancy (yes, I was anxious and nine weeks pregnant) I ask to go to the ER, but my doctor said it was not necessary, but something inside my head told me that I had to move, that my pain was not normal and my head forced me to ask for help.

Thanks to my anxiety I realized that I was having an abortion. Now i'm able to say that being anxious let me discover something that without it, would take two more weeks until the next ultrasound.

Of course i'm sad, as a matter of fact, devastated, but it's the first time that I have to say thanks to my extreme way of feel things, because THAT save my life, save me two more weeks of illusions, and with a really hard punch took my feet and put it on the ground, my intern voice told me "there is something wrong with your pregnancy, go to a doctor, no matter everyone said".

Now, I fight with my sadness, and trying to keep breeding after life took my breath away one more time.

Even though your anxious make you hurt and sometimes its delusional and a really bad advisor, there are occasions when you have to hear it, and maybe feel it in a more deeper way, maybe trying to tell you something that you being avoid it.

Try to manage your illness, accept it, because its in you, it's NOT YOU.

Diana.

Live through this.

I'm a 32 year old woman looking for help.

First of all I'm writing this in english because in Latinamerica is still a taboo to have a mental illness, and I have two of them!!

I am married with a lovely man, got a carreer, friends and family and all of them help as they could; maybe tons of people ask, how is it even possible to think in a depression with a great life? .... well, i've got news, I am in a deep depression and have an anxiety that makes me live in hell.

I want to use this blog to find help, eventhough Im in  therapy it's not working at all, i'd been changing of psychologist, psychiatrist for years, different countries and nothing work.

At this episode of my depression I`ve experimented new ways of live in hell and I can't find a treatment that makes me feel good.

It seems that my head isn't connected with my body, for example, i want to cook something or cleaned my apartment but my body does not even move a finger and that frustrated me and makes me feel really bad, if i want to get out for a walk my body responds being an asshole and everything that I do is feeling bad for everything that i'm missing day by day.

My new days are dark i don't open the window or the courtains and remain all day eating (because the antidepressants makes me eat like the end of the world is coming soon) and now I remember that I have problems with gain weight.

If someone maybe feels like me or know some other new treatments or anything to feel better, I'm gonna really be gratefull or maybe to share symptoms with me for free, it's kind of lame to pay tons of money for someone that hears me for an our and adjust my meds without feeling wellness or see a result.